Singing Off-Key

This last Sunday, I was greeted by one of our church leaders, who also happens to be one of the most genuinely kind people I know. My family is always welcomed by him, his wife, and their beautiful family at every church service, and we routinely sit a few rows behind them. Knowing I was leaving for my trip this fall, he invited me to be a part of the choir for Easter services as a “last-tribute-before-I-leave” sort of thing. I was truly touched by the offer, because what an amazing opportunity! But in reality, I was mostly mortified at the thought of singing in front of our entire congregation at one of the busiest services of the year. If you know me, you know I shy away from big groups, not to mention being in front of a big group. And if you know me best, you know that singing is not one of the gifts God gave me. So when presented with this daunting invitation, I kindly thanked him for the offer and told him I would think about it (..meanwhile, my parents were giggling on my behalf). Not even five seconds later, his wife greeted me and immediately asked the same question, “Will you join us in the choir?” Oh why me, I thought to myself. I thanked them again for the offer and sheepishly confided that I had not an ounce of singing ability. The husband simply said, “Well, we are just here to worship together, that’s all!”  We sat down for the sermon, which gave me a chance to truly reflect. 

Every week that goes by, I find myself closer and closer to my launch date, and I could not be more excited! I am so incredibly eager for this upcoming season in my life. But, to be vulnerable here, I continue to find myself lost in a fog of business within my day-to-day life. Consumed by unforgiving stacks of homework, major senioritis (56 days till graduation, but who’s counting), and heavy expectations set upon me by myself and others, I repeatedly find myself losing focus on God and what He created me to do, and riddled by the stress and anxiety of the things that haven’t even happened yet. In the moments where I do find myself with free time, I turn to the comforts of the flesh instead of the rest I find in my Creator. I am dedicating the next season of my life to denying myself and serving others, and I can’t find the time right now, in this present moment, for God? What a sorry excuse for a Christ-follower-to-be-missionary, I think to myself. 

When we take a look in the Bible, not only are we reminded of all that God has done for us, we are reminded that God chooses broken people to exalt his name all the time. I’m sure when Jesus asked his disciples to follow him they thought, why me? Why a broken, worthless sinner? Why not someone more qualified? Turns out that none of us are qualified. Our only qualification is that we believe God sent his son to die for us, that Jesus Christ saved us from the downfall of our sin. At least I can check that box! 

Being invited to sing in the choir reminds me of how God invites us into his family. Not unlike how the good-intentioned leaders of the choir pursued me, God pursues us every day to join him and celebrate his goodness. Our church has countless skillful musicians, and I know for a fact that I am not qualified to be among this group of incredibly gifted people. Likewise, I know for a fact that I do not deserve the unconditional love and grace God pours over me every day. 

In short, I said yes to the invitation. It may be a little off-key, but I can’t wait to sing my face off on stage with a talented group of broken-Jesus-loving people, celebrating the goodness of God on the very day his one and only son rose from the grave!

Until next time, 

Olivia 🙂